"If there’s someone willing to collect them right here and now, it would seem like a much better idea to just hand them over and then give such future cubes to whomever that ‘someone else’ may be. Surely such an abundance of cubes is a hassle for someone with the limited capacities of being a sphere to have hanging about. It’s really just best for everyone to hand the cubes over now."

The more Frick played up his desire for the cubes, the more Wheatley ought to want them for himself, right? It supposedly worked with young children, and an Intelligence Dampening Sphere ought to be at about the same level. The second somebody else wanted something, one’s own desire typically shot up.

"No no— seriously, no." Wheatley insisted without pause from the last syllable that left Frick’s lips. He tried to cushion his words with a heavy layer of cheerfulness as though that would, somehow, ease the disappointment the android was no doubt suffering.

"Can’t do that, can I? Already signed the paperwork! Signed and sent. These cubes are one hundred percent claimed and, agh, can’t imagine all the complaint department issues if I went back on my word! All the worst things: phone calls, complaint forms, jabbing remarks— it’d be a mess!” The core scrunched both his handles and shutters, giving a sympathetic full shake of his chassis. “Sorry, I know. Heart set on it. How about a chair? Would you like one of those? You’d love it! Has wheels. Don’t even have to stand up! In theory. Never done it myself. The science seems sound though, like glass. Sound glass.”

cavedos asked: Good evening,Sir. Wondered if I might trouble your intellect a while with some of my silly ideas, y'know, differing perspective and all that.



"Who, what — me? … wh-yes! Yes! Absolutely. Wow. You came to the right place. In fact, no entirely certain where you, uh, came from at all! Which isn’t a problem. I mean, work to be done, right? I just so happen to have a completely free schedule!

Go on. Hit me with it! What’s the idea?”

Thank you. It’s taking up so much of my available power just keeping this place together, sometimes getting my numbers crunched properly can be a bit of a struggle.

Hell, my rig isn’t even finished in here, we’ve been so busy getting the facility secured and self-sufficient and all.

I’ll just put that spider-tank mecha-whatsit on the back burner for now.
Actually, maybe I need to get started on a personal sidearm or something. Nervous cable wiggling.

Do you have much trouble with hostiles? I mean, random people waltzing in like they own the place?

Ahhh, yeah. Let me tell you. Running everything, whew, takes it out of you! Know all about it. I mean, wow, look at my schedule right now! Chock full of… of things. Needing to be done. Or solved. A lot of solving. Equations and nonsense, incredible I had this free minute for you—

I’m sorry?

Ho-hostiles? I, uh. Haven’t really had any hostile business. Weeeell, actually, there’s a bit of an issue with some killing machines running amuck— not my doing, tagging that there now, in case you thought it. No, uh, somebody else! Did it. What was the question again? Right. People. I don’t know, I think I’ve handled it pretty well…

Certainly haven’t shown them highly classified machines, haha, oh, god, no. That’d be… so against the rules. Ha…ha… um. Mm.”

tagged → #cavedos


Los’s guts snaked and churned within him, unable to help the paranoid anxiety that stuck with him near-constantly. It was inescapable; he’d forgotten how to let his guard down long ago. But even so, he fought to convince himself that the fear was idiotic. The doctors, they didn’t know of his whereabouts… And even if they did, his thermal scanner would have detected their presence nearby. Even then, why would they build this elaborate setup for his capture— what would they gain from it? No, surely nothing was amiss. Not in that respect. As the sphere began to babble about hostages, trying to see inside his studio, he took a deep breath and shook the tremor from his hands. As the Voice liked to say, he was acting like a lab rat— silently scurrying about in the shadows. Well, he couldn’t do that all his life… 

A sudden, strange sense of control and certainty washed through him, tugging a smile onto his face. With a careless sort of bravery, suddenly eager to prove his caliber— even to himself— and push past his mental barriers, he took a step through the portal. And then, momentarily deflating into worry, he quickly tested his ability to return. His hand, when moved to do so, easily penetrated the barrier— it was as though it was just a simple doorway, and this place another room. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Slowly he approached the sphere, gazing up at it— him?— with interest. Its mechanics were quite advanced, despite— or maybe, especially because of— his small size… Two thoughts rose from that. The first, an urge to take him apart and see how he functioned up close— though he’d of course never actually do so. The second was a noted concern; who and where were the people who made him?

"I’m perfectly alright," he murmured in reply, once he deemed the distance sufficient, "And I definitely can speak. There are no hostages. But there is someone taking a very important rest right now. I wanted to keep it down, yes?” A light shrug. Social customs weren’t his strong suit. “You’re interesting, aren’t you? And your speech pattern is strange. But then, this is an interesting development in general.” His hand motioned about the room, and towards the portal. “Did you do this? For what purpose?”

With the twitchy nature of this particular man, Wheatley hadn’t anticipated such a bold and confident move as striding right through the portal like one would a doorway they popped through on the regular. It dwindled any nonsense-filler prattle that had been building up within his speakers, tapering off the babble into a hung ‘Um' as the core swiveled his gyroscope lower to track the brave little pioneer.

He certainly had staring down pat. It was a behavior that made the robot antsy, the dotting pixels of blue gathering to produce his iris darting away and past the trespasser in rapid, sudden swoops as though an answer to his unspoken question would sprout behind him. Instead there came a voice, final proof that he had one, and that alone leashed the optical lens fully back upon him with a relaxation of his shutters from the easing of curiosity.

Someone? Really! So more than just you. That is curious, actually. Usually don’t come in pairs, meeting somebody like this.” Wheatley noted without filter but was quickly drawn away from any wonder when a far more interesting topic came to the foreground. Him.

"Is that a good strange or a bad strange? Sure you mean it good. I mean, wow, ‘interesting’ doesn’t cover the half of it! Grade-A technology right here, top of the line, best you might ever see! Aside from this portal. Which yep, I did do. Wellll, my machine did it. So, honestly, credit still goes to me. Chief operator of said machine.” But why did he do it. That must’ve stumped the machine for there was a blank stare, dragging on for ticking seconds before he blurted, “Uh. Science. Mostly. Done it for science. Testing boundaries. Time, space, architecture, decor— general basics of the universe. Nothing major.”

tagged → #los-daemon #losdaemon
cavedos asked: Good evening,Sir. Wondered if I might trouble your intellect a while with some of my silly ideas, y'know, differing perspective and all that.



"Who, what — me? … wh-yes! Yes! Absolutely. Wow. You came to the right place. In fact, no entirely certain where you, uh, came from at all! Which isn’t a problem. I mean, work to be done, right? I just so happen to have a completely free schedule!

Go on. Hit me with it! What’s the idea?”

Well, to make a long story short, my scholarly friend, I’m the Central Core of my Aperture, the brains of the facility, if you will.

Thing is, I’m not really comfortable with just sitting around. I mean, I’ve never been the Chessmaster type; I like to get my figurative hands dirty, you see.

My conundrum is: there are some things I’d like to oversee directly, and not through a camera or sensor suites.

In your learned opinion, would it be wiser to build a peripherial frame that I could download myself into, or to build (or recruit), two or three deputy A.I. to serve as emissaries of my will?

What in the ever loving hell did he just say.

"That- that is definitely a problem- a conundrum, better word, like your use of it there- that is definitely a conundrum that you’re battling with there. Wow. Takes some… serious thought. Weighing those choices.

Hold on. Just, um, running the data here. A lot of details to factor in. Huge equation, not for the faint of heart, sparing you the grunt work. Annnnd…

Option two. I’d definitely say option two. You don’t, um, don’t need the scrap work do you? No. No, be a waste of time, you worrying about details like that. Definitely take my word on this. No better guarantee! My word, that is. Option two.”

tagged → #cavedos
cavedos asked: Good evening,Sir. Wondered if I might trouble your intellect a while with some of my silly ideas, y'know, differing perspective and all that.

"Who, what — me? … wh-yes! Yes! Absolutely. Wow. You came to the right place. In fact, no entirely certain where you, uh, came from at all! Which isn’t a problem. I mean, work to be done, right? I just so happen to have a completely free schedule!

Go on. Hit me with it! What’s the idea?”

tagged → #cavedos
[ OOC ]

[ Give me more active threads. Or Email Rp! Oh, bloody hell, I would pay some good imaginary funds for some Email Rp. Y’know, that little address on the side-bar of my blog. Brilliant resource, barely utilized.

Basically it’s another poking around for threads. Like this or send me an Ask, hash out details, maybe a couple of drinks, see where the night takes us…

Cheers. ]

Aperture Science. [x]

[ Pests ]


He considered making a comment about how fast Wheatley would be able to roll there on his own, but kept it to himself. He was walking as quickly as he could. It was simply a matter of it being a massive facility, and the fact that manufacturing was on the opposite side from where they’d started out. Considering the fact that he walked with a limp, he was making pretty good time.

"We’re almost there…" In fact, by the time he was finished answering, manufacturing was just within sight.

"Oh, there it is! Found it." The core cheerily chirruped the obvious the moment his lens refocused and could make sense of the tin signs and plethora of warning labels waiting up ahead. So long as he shelved the reality that this was going to end with fight a giant robot then things were going pretty well for being kidnapped- corenapped.

"There should definitely be one of those guns in there. I know it. Funny you don’t have one in the first place, being a test subject and all. I suppose She doesn’t let you take it on breaks? Seems stingy. Absolute failure on Her part to detect any possible impending explosion of the entire facility that could be stopped with a portal gun events. I’d have prepared for it. Just saying.” Still. The fact that he was the cause of yet a second apocalyptic event did have the little robot snail into his chassis a bit more, glancing nervously along the walls to ensure that Doug kept his promise that She would never know that he was here.

"I have to say," He continued, forging forward with enthusiasm despite the nerves, "I’m looking forward to it. Not, ha, not the ‘save the facility’ part. Terrifying. Don’t even want to think about that. No, this gun business. Been forever since I’ve gotten to ride one of those— it’s marvelous, I highly recommend it! Do whatever you want, have your own little… little personal pocket of gravity. Make a whale of it. Love it.”

His silver lining was often a bit short-sighted. But it was shiny at least.

tagged → #cubewhisperer
aperturesciencesjewel asked: `Hmm, did you enjoy traveling with that dangerous mute lunatic or did you despise it

"Huh. Sort of weird, You wondering this. Suppose You can’t really go anywhere, stuck up there. Need to live vicariously through somebody, eh? You made the best choice! Me. That is.

It was grand! Loved it. Fantastic time. Going places and doing things. All my ideas, of course, my expertise getting us through it all.


Ex-except the removing You from power part. That was entirely her idea. In fact I told her not to do it, I said “Lady, this probably won’t end well, maybe we should just politely ask for an escape lift" but no, nope, stuck me right on there. So. Uh. Yeah."

[ Uninvited Guests. ]


Caroline couldn’t help but give the blind core an exasperated glance at his definition of medicine. Had he any form of simulated common sense he would realize just how wrong he was with the subject. She really wasn’t much of a medical being; spent most of her time in the physics section, but otherwise she knew few basics of anatomy and as far as she was concerned one didn’t simply replace eyes to fix blindness. But he was insufferable trying to explain things to so that conversation was quickly dropped.

Interesting. The maniac metal ball was afraid of running water. She would certainly have to use that to her advantage sometime should he decide to misbehave; just set him on the edge of a sink that was filling up. Perhaps she would accidentally knock him in if she was adventurous. “Well, if that is what you want then so be it, I suppose. But don’t complain when I don’t yell to answer you.” she stated flatly, setting the core down by the edge of the door and leaving it open just enough to be able to hear him should he decide to speak.

"No, right, that’s fine." Wheatley agreed thoughtlessly, not dedicating much processing power to comprehending what she meant. It promised a future of many ‘did you say something?' and 'what?!' be filling the flat for the next dozen minutes.

It was clear, despite his suggestion, that the core was iffy of being left on the floor. His mechanics were a constant and lively ‘vrr’ of activity, his gray iris darting anxiously as though the black were darkness rather than visual failure. It took him near rolling before, belatedly, the responsive lock of his lowermost handle turned into a shoddy kickstand.

"I just thought of something," Give it a few moments of her being gone and he was already calling out, his voice wavering with bundled nerves as his anxiety worked itself up. "Do we have some sort of emergency code word while you’re in there? You know, something that goes both ways. Maybe if a cat comes by, tries to finish the job- accidentally finish the job. Would be lovely if there was something that, y’know, made you come stop the murder. Again, accidental murder, no hard feelings. Or! Or if something happens to you! In there. Can’t see a thing— didn’t need to say that, already established, actually. I won’t know though! Won’t have any idea. Also… also, now that I think on it, can’t really call for help if something did happen. Hey! Do you have a phone! Maybe I could dial- no, wait, blind. Also hands, need those, don’t I, to dial things… blimey, this is hard.”